On Valentine’s Day, we typically show our affection for those we love with flowers, chocolates and beautifully written cards. Our kindness, compassion and generosity tend to increase on days such as this. But when is the day we celebrate the love and compassion we have for ourselves? Unfortunately, the answer is typically “rarely”.
Self-compassion can be defined as kindness and patience shown to oneself in times of stress. An injury, surgery and the resulting pain are all stressors that can affect our lives. Physical therapy is no exception. Patients come in being fearful of pain, are upset by lack of progress or are frustrated because another patient with the same injury is doing better than they are. When this happens we often think that berating ourselves will motivate us to do better, to be better. However the research shows just the opposite. “There is potential for self-compassion to help individuals self-regulate physical activity behavior with less fear of failure and emphasis on being perfect (Neff, 2003a; Neff et al., 2005).”
We as physical therapists often find patients either doing too many exercises, in an effort to get better faster, or not enough exercises, for any number of reasons. We do our best to educate and motivate each and every patient, but we all know that things are often easier said than done. Enter self-compassion. This act of looking inward for kindness and understanding, I believe, will lead to greater outcomes with physical therapy.
“I’ve been working my shoulder really hard this week and now it’s hurting me more. I feel so dumb for hurting myself in the first place.” Or, “This week has been crazy busy, I simply don’t have time for my exercises. I’m never going to get better.” These are just two examples of the types of self-criticism we hear from patients. This negativity though will only bring us down, both mentally and physically. By changing our self-talk, our physical well-being will follow. “I feel silly for hurting myself, but everyone has accidents, they happen. I need to be kind to my body in order to heal. The next time I’m doing my exercises I will take a deep breath after each set to see how my shoulder feels.” Or, “It’s ok that this week was busy, but I do want to get better. The kind thing to do for my body is to set aside 10 minutes each day to do my exercises.”
I’ve often said that there is a significant mental component associated with a physical injury that often isn’t seen. It’s hidden because we choose to hide it. We hope that if you are struggling you feel comfortable enough to share it with us. We’re here to help, with kindness and compassion. But when we can’t be there, allow self-compassion to help you through!
Yours in Pelvic Health,
Danielle L Liegl, PT, MPT
References:
http://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Biber2017.pdf
